غسيلو-ثيرابي

لي مع الغسيل مغامرااااااااااااااااااات... وصولات وجولات وقصص غريبة، في الأردن وبرّا الأردن، وبشتّى أنواعه: باللجن، بالغسالة إم الحوضين، بإم الشلن (هو مش شلن، 10 بات تايلندي)، بالأوتوماتك، بالمغسلة... الخ. يوم الغسيل عندي يوم مميز له طقوس ونكد حاضر دائماً حتى مع التوماتيك، أعتقد أني سأتخلص من هذا الشبح لمّا أجيب نشّافة... المفاجأة الغير سارّة اللي سمعتها إنو حتى إذا في نشافة بدك تنشر الغسيل شوي.. أنا بكره نشر الغسيل الصراحة، الطلعة عالسطح والحرب الباردة غير المعلنة مع الجيران على أحبال الغسيل والملاقط المنسيّة كوم، و"البسّة الفجائيّة" اللي دايماً بين الخزانات كوم، ولمّ الغسيل كوم، وطويه كوم وكويه كومين.

لكن كوني إنسان متفائل بطبيعتي وبحب أقلب الأشياء لمصلحتي مرّات بحاول أقنع حالي بوجود إشي إسمه "غسيلو-ثيرابي"، يعني بتخيّل لو وصل إيميل من هالفورارد إيميلز الهبلة بالشكل التالي كنت رح أنبسط على يوم الغسيل؛ العنوان بكون: "غسيلو ثيرابي، آخر اختراعات اليابان":

اليابان – وكالات

صرّح بروفيسور علم النفس والعادات الاجتماعية الياباني ميكي تاكيشي من جامعة طوكيو للعلوم الإنسانية الحيوية ميّة بالميّة عن دراسة أجراها فريق البحث في قسم المياه والمعادن على أكثر من 400 ألف مشارك على مدى 5 سنوات تتعلّق بتأثير التواجد قرب المياه على نفسيّة المواطنين اليابانيين ما بين سن 15-88، وخلصت الدراسة إلى أن التواجد بشكل مستمر بالقرب من مصدر مياه يشعر الشخص بالطمأنينة والراحة النفسية، وأن أكثر أسهل طريقة للاستفادة من هذه النتيجة بشكل غير مكلف هي القيام بعملية غسيل الملابس بشكل منتظم، وخاصة في البلاد شحيحة المياه طبيعياً (مثل الأردن)، كما أشارت الدراسة إلى جانب سلبي واحد لهذه العادة ألا وهي الشعور المفاجئ للشخص بالرغبة في دخول الحمام عند سماع صوت المياه، هذه الظاهرة التي لا تزال تعتبر لغزاً يأرّق العلماء. وقد بدأ البروفيسور تاكيشي جلسات علاج أطلق عليها "لوندري-ثيرابي" (يعني غسيلو-ثيرابي بالعربي) مشيراً إلى عدة فوائد يستفيدها الشخص من ممارسة هذا العلاج:

1. تمارين كارديو (للقلب) عند صعود الدرج ونزول الدرج بأحمال مختلفة من الغسيل المبتل والناشف.
2. تمارين اجتماعية وتوطيد علاقات جديدة مع الجيران عند الالتقاء بهم على الدرج.
3. اكتساب مهارات حل النزاع عند وجود تضارب مصالح على حبال الغسيل مع الجيران.
4. تنمية حس الحيطة والحذر لتفادي "البسس الهاربة المصروعة" عند فتح باب السطح.
5. التبريد والترطيب صيفاً وزيادة قوة التحمّل ومناعة الجسم شتاءً.
6. توطيد العلاقات الأسرية وإظهار الامتنان للأم التي اعتادت على غسل الغسيل لك وأنت طفل صغير.
7. تنمية المهارات الاقتصادية عند احتساب كميات المياه والصابون المستخدمة وتأثيرها على الميزانية العامة للمنزل.
8. اكتساب كميّات كافية من فيتامين دي من خلال التعرض المستمر –لكن المتوسط- للشمس.

هذا وقد امتلأت حلقات الغسيلو-ثيرابي عن بكرة أبيها في مراكز الجامعة المذكورة أعلاه، ويتم حالياً تصوير برنامج على إم بي سي فور اسمه "الطشط قلّي"  يتبع 5 عائلات تبدأ بممارسة الغسيلو-ثيرابي بالتناوب وتأثير هذا الأمر على العلاقات بينهما.

             منقووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووووول

ملاحظة: خلصت الوجبة الثانية، وداعاً!

 http://naserz.blogspot.com

One year later

It has been a little bit over year since I got back to Jordan, I can definitely say that I love being here more than anything, I would have said the same thing before I left as well, but once you try being abroad you have a different understanding to what I'm saying.
Anyway, the highlight of this year is me getting a job, I want to talk about that because I think there's a good message in it, if you want to see it and believe it, cuz after all, it is all about preceptive, how you see and perceive things, everything can be looked at from more than one angle.
I spent 5 months looking for a job, I got to admit that I didn't know what the hell was I supposed to do now after my little project in Thailand failed, it was supposed to be my bold big break through and I tried as hard as I could but it just didn't work out, and I had no back up plan, I was that determined it will work out, it didn't break me it just made much "wiser". I asked friends for vacancies, I looked up jobs online, subscribed to couple of well known recruitment websites, I eventually paid one of them to rewrite my CV, I applied to 10s of jobs, what I didn't apply for though is what my university certificate qualifies me for; working in Insurance, Finance or Banking! sounds stupid ha? of course I was telling everyone that I'm applying to those too, but I wasn't, I didn't know what I wanted at the time, I was sure about what I didn't want though! I thought I'd die sitting behind a desk doing a "boring" job.
5 months later, a friend calls me up and tell me they have a vacancy for a "copy writer" at her company, she said she'd read a note or couple on my facebook and she thinks I can write nicely. I said yea of course I'll send the CV! I had no clue what copywriting was, I immediately thought of this symbol © ! I thought alright... a boring job still.... I thought I'll be writing legal Copy Rights stuff! I was so not expecting anything that i traveled to Palestine over the weekend and delayed the interview two days! I googled "copy righting"! and there was it "did you mean copywriting?", OH! copywriting.. what the fuck is that? I litteraly jumped off my chair when I started reading that wiki page, went the next day to the interview all hyped and excited, they liked me too, turns out there was a place for all my silliness and craziness, ALL of it in one place, my "job" needs "creativity" or as I like to call it "tkoon ahbal w faged", it needs you to be good in English and Arabic, which I happen to love (at 5th grade I made my own dictionary :D, I still have the original copy), it needs u to be able to translate, which I used to do FOR FREE just for the fun of it (and ppl always told me that I shouldn't be wasting my time like that for free!), and to get this job you should know for a fact that you can write, and I very strongly believe if it wasn't for this blog I wouldn't have known, It always surprise(d) me when people like(d) something I write.

I love my "job" -for the lack of a better word-, It's the best thing that happened to me yet, I'm getting better at it and will continue to do so, I get paid fairly well, moved to a new house, my life seems to be in order. Ofcourse there's still the loan i took to start my Thailand experiment and a lot of shit to deal with, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now to battle with those. piece of cake.

I forgot why I started writing this whole post, I was thinking about "luck" when a friend told me that I'm lucky to be doing something I love and passionate about, and I figured I wasn't lucky, there's no luck in what happened, I chose to do everything that helped me be qualified for my job, I chose not to work as a teller (with all my respect to tellers, my father started as a teller and finished big.. so), and I chose not to settle for "just anything". Do that.
http://naserz.blogspot.com

Proof

I found this DVD cover tossed up on my desk ,it says "Proof" ,there are pictures of Gwyneth Paltrow who happens to be my favorite actress since ever (Penelope Cruz is close second) and Anthony Hopkins but that's beside the point . what caught my eye is what's written on the top of it :

The Biggest Risk In Life Is Not Taking One

I so agree with that and live by it often ,I wouldn't say I'm a reckless daredevil risk taker but I'm definitely not a risk averse kind of person , I mean I can't understand this doctrine of not taking risks because "bad things will eventually happen" ,flash news ; we're going all to die eventually so why bother living ? Or is it more fulfilling when every step we take is guaranteed with "good" results ? Is that even possible ? 

Some (for instance) had blamed me for going to Thailand at young age and trying with a small business of my own ,It failed that's true and I'm having a hard time getting a "job" now but guess what ? I have no regrets at all ,what's wrong with being knocked down and getting up again ? generally in all aspects whether its personal relationships,career decisions ,or whatever  ,what's wrong with that ?

As the song goes , "It was good,It was bad but It was real" ,It was something at least ! that's better than living in constant fear of losing and nothingness I say! Isn't it ?

http://naserz.blogspot.com

The Most Boring Day of the year has just started ! :/

Ever I was a little kid ... no actually when  I was a little kid there was something to look forward to Eid morning ; wearing the new Eid clothes and taking my Eideyyeh (Eideyyeh is children's tax on their parents for being their children on that day ! not even an American Veto will save the father's ass from paying it that day !) , starting over :

Ever since I was a little grown up kid ,stopped getting new clothes for Eid and waiting for my Eideyyeh while I'm an inch taller than my dad felt wrong ,I realized how boring the 1st day of Eid is at our house and how it'll never change ! so we don't have a big extended family here in Jordan ,making Ma3moul isn't one of our Eid traditions (for various reasons) , watching Syria TV channel going around the parks asking kids (shoo..sho bte3mel 7abeebee?? - answer : بتزحلط عالزحليطة ) had lost its element of surprise , just like Kuwait TV; you really don't laugh as much at  بُست يد يـدّتي و اكلنا الديايةlater as much as you do the 1st time you hear that ! so no body comes ,no body goes, and every other single person I've known however unsocial he is must be not available and busy at this day ! even Salam my best friend who lived across of our house when we were younger ,he'd sell me for all the Eideyyat from his family,shame on you Salam! Speaking of Salam and Eideyyat ... some people made fortune out of those :D I never did ,20 JD max I recall this is the highest Eideyyat grand total I ever collected ! 19.50 would naturally go on guns and Futtaish (these are the little bombs they sell for kids to train them and put them mentally in a state of mind of loving bombing, its such a thrill *drools* ).

And so ,1st day of Eid turned into my all-day-in-pajamas official day of the year ,my phone doesn't ring much too ,for one,who has the time to call me ?! and two ,telecommunication companies celebrates Eid in Jordan by going down all at once ! total seclusion !

The one Eid I really enjoyed and was out of this world in my soon2B quarter of a century of life on this Earth was two years ago when I got to spend it in Palestine ! waking up early in the morning ,slaughtering,I mean sacrificing the sheep (it was Ad-ha Eid), 45 999 little cousins invading the area like ants in the 1970's movie "ants" ,going around aunts ,father's aunts,grandma's sister...etc houses in the town ,having a little coffee and giving an Eideyyeh myself to each one of them and all that ,that was fun !

oh and I also conducted a facebook study ... look at that ! zero comments or replies or unlikes ! not even facebook made my day a lil more exciting this day !

And Happy Eid to all , wish your's is much more exciting than mine :D

http://naserz.blogspot.com

My baby leaves..

My baby leaves

==============

Oh the things you think will never happen to you and hit you without you knowing it ! I hate those ...

She is leaving ,there is no way she will stay ,she is taking a piece of my heart with her,and a place that will never ever be fulfilled again the way i would love to . To see her happy is all that matters ,but I can't help not being selfish about her...I am selfish when its about her!

My baby,my love,my girl will not be "mine" anymore ,there is a guy who managed to steal her heart with a smile on her face and i couldn't do a thing about it... to look at them together gives me serenity for I am sure they're in love,it gives me happiness for i know she is happy, but also makes me feel something I can't put to words, I think..I think it must feel like how the universe feels when a cloud drops a tear upon us to have a new life in the rivers and the oceans, I think...it must feel like how the big apple tree feels like when it let go of a fruit she carried and cherished so much to make the little kid trying to reach it underneath happy and drops it carefully into his hands ,I think...it must feel like how the flower feels like when it gives the bees its nectar to make honey,and home .

Sister oh sister ...I am out of words... I'll miss you dearly .I wish you and Akram the best life there is.I love you.

مطلوب ذاكرة مع صورة بالأبيض و الأسود في بيروت

عندما كنت صغيرا كنت أتمنى أن أعيش ثلاثة آلاف عام، لكي أرى كيف ستطير السيارات و كيف لن أضطر للذهاب للمدرسة، و كنت على اعتقاد جازم أن "لبيبة" موجودة في اليابان وستكون هناك بعد ثلاثة آلاف عام.

عندما كبرت .. بدأت أمنية جديدة تنسخ القديمة، و هي ليست أقل استحالة من سالفتها .. أتمنّى لو أنّي ولدت قبل ستين أو سبعين عاماً.. أتمنى لو أنّي رعيت الغنم بعد المدرسة، أو أني درست على ضوء شمعة .. لو أنّني اصطدت الطيور في الوديان والسهول؛ لقرأت "طيور الحذر" بسهولة .. لما كان لدي أزمة هوية .. هوية مدنية! لكانت هويتي فلاحيّة واضحة المعالم .. لكنت قد هجّرت من وطني محملاً بذكريات لا أملكها اليوم! ولكنت عرفت أجوبة أسألة كثيرة لا أعرفها اليوم...

لو أني ولدت آن ذاك ... لكان لدي صورة بالأبيض والأسود أخذت في بيروت، فيها على يميني فتاة تحمل كلاشينكوف يزيدها أنوثة، لربما كانت سمراء و كان شعرها مجعد ... لربما أحببتها! لا أعرف! أعرف أنّي لن ألتقيها أبداً الآن! لربما كان على يساري....... ناجي العلي؟ ربما! كنت (في العالم الذي لم أولد فيه) ألبس "الكوفية الفلسطينية" ولم يتهمني أحد بالعنصرية! كانت القضية واضحة .. مثلا: لا تصالح! واضحة؛ لا تصالح اسرائيل، صالح الفلسطينين الآخرين معلش. لربما كنت استقلت من منظمة التحرير بعد أوسلو و شعرت بخيبة أمل .. طيب مش أحسن من خيبات الأمل تبعت هاليومين؟ في العالم الذي لم أولد فيه ... كنت سأكون رفيق والدي! ولربما قرأ ابنه (الذي لن يكون أنا) اليوم هذه التدوينة، والتي كانت ستكون عن العالم الذي عشت فيه فعلاً، عن عملية ميونخ مثلاً، ولربما راسلني سائلاً إن كنت أعرف أباه .. و لربما قلت له: "طبعا أعرف المرحوم والدك .. . كانت معايير الصداقة في الزمن الماضي تقوم على الالتقاء الفكري والسياسي" كما قال لي ... صديقه! لكان لي أصدقاء كثر إذاً! أكثر من أصدقائي الكثر اليوم!

لربما كنت أدخن الآن و أنا مدرك تماماً لخطورة وضعي الصحي، ولكنت سأستمر في التدخين .. لأنّي أصبحت لا أكترث.. ولكنت فهمت كيف وصل هؤلاء الذين أتمنى صورة بالأبيض والأسود معهم إلى حالة عدم الإكتراث هذه .. لربما كنت سأقرأ كتاباً ما للمرة الثانية أو الثالثة الليلة، و لربما ابتسمت عندما قرأت الإهداء على الصفحة الصفراء الأولى .. و ترحّمت على كاتبه و قلت "كان رجلا بحق" .. لربما لم يكن لديه شوارب كثة، وكان بشوشاً وهزيل الجسد ولا يرفع صوته على النساء، ربما عاش في منزل بسيط و لم ينجب الأولاد، ولكنّي متأكد أنه كان رجلا بحق.

قال صديق لي مرة .. (يحدث أنّي أريد ذاكرة أخرى ..تلك التي لم أعشها بعد) .. أنا أريد ذاكرة واحدة، مرة واحدة، تكبرني بخمسين عام.

Related post : أترك لكم اختيار العنوان

To Falafel,or to Mansaf ; that is the question !

I've been doing a lot of visualizing and day-dreaming in the past couple of days about my come back to Jordan, and honestly I've been struggling with this issue ; what to eat 1st ? . Unless you've been away from "home" -wherever "home" is to you- long enough I don't think you're going to really understand the seriousness of this question !:D . I'm arriving at dawn ,I'll be home at breakfast time ,and this very 1st thing I’ll have in my mouth of our food is of a great importance ,I've been craving it for a year and a half now , following my successful Labaneh experience here, I'm only left with two vital players to choose from , to have a steaming hot fresh falafel ,or a Mansaf for that breakfast ? Before i came here I'd consider having Mansaf for breakfast a radical act ,but its all just a state of mind ,let me help you...Imagine that you came to visit me here in Thailand ,we'll be having rice and other stuff mixed with it for breakfast ! no tea no bread no nothing of that .. you'd eat it and be happy about it "wow exotic !!" think of having Mansaf the same way and its not such a bad idea anymore ... I really don't know what to do here ! Maybe have both?

Spending ,Wealth ,and quality of living (?)

Me and myself are confused , there are habits that i can never ever relate to ! like buying fancy things when you can have the same exact functionality out of a much cheaper one ! even more ; buying things just because you can,not because you need . but maybe because i was never able to "just buy it" and always had to "need to buy it" to do so right ? what do i know i can't claim i know how it feels ! which lead me and myself to this question ; now I -and i assume everyone else- works hard to be successful ,happy and wealthy , I'm not getting into Wealth VS Rich debate ,but lets say you managed to have good stable income ,so what do i do now ?I mean i have enough money to buy fancy stuff ,would i buy it ?what if my sister,my mom,my wife,my kids wanted one of those ? do i tell them no ? or do i do what i find now complete irresponsibility and utter detachment from the real world where thousands can't get 3 meals a day ? but again is it "my" fault ?is it their fault ?should the excess money go to charity only ? 

what is quality of living and what determines it ? see me and myself are really confused . your generous thoughts of wisdom please...

Post is featuring this CHANEL hand bag worth of ... a lot of money !

Dry Thai New year and boring squirrels

Last year i participated in my 1st Songkran festival (images) in Thailand ,which marks the Thai new year ,if you're a foreigner and you couldn't memories "Songkran" you might hear someone calling it "the water festival" .People go out in the streets with big water guns and everybody splashes everybody ,if you're not in one of those big crowded areas and you stayed home,you go outside your house and play with your family ,neighbors ,and anyone who passes by , last year was a blast,except for the part where i got back home by train,and the train is AC-ed ,and i was shivering :/ but i went again on the 3rd day well prepared with a towel ,dry extra clothes and lots of sacks to keep everything dry in my bag .

Yesterday i went out to the market near by,and I found out it was Songkran!I didn't even know its now,I couldn't imagine its been a year already ,but thats fine, the sucky part is that I don't feel like going out and "playing" ,passing by each group of people preparing to splash me I'd tell them not to,wearing my Jordanian-Kashra face of course ,so they didn't,I've been going out and coming back for two days with no single drop of water on me . why is that bad ? because Songkran isn't the only thing that i lost appetite for !

I don't enjoy taking the motorcycle taxi anymore ,I'm not enjoying the wind in my face or the speed or whatever feeling that made me always prefer motorcycle taxis over the many other options i had to wander around the city .

I don't enjoy watching a squirrel looking for food anymore ,as a matter of fact, when i see a squirrel in the balcony looking for food,jumping around on the wires and furniture ,my only thought is "don't get in here cuz then i'll have to chase you out!" ,I used to wake up early to watch squirrels :/

Yesterday i woke up n found one of those long beautiful worms in my room ,usually I'd sit next to it and watch it and enjoy how fascinating these little things can be , maybe take couple of pictures too, didn't do any of that,just picked it up n threw it out .

I just realized today how i enjoy very few things these days !! I'm not sure when this phase started but its not fun.

Telephone operator saved my Valentines day!

Cuz I'm so hip n so cool n so in n so u know,happy person ,i called my phone company tonight at 9:30 PM to check on some subscription thingy i have,and just before i hung up with the sweet lady,she tells me : Happy Valentines day! i was laying down in bed feeling dizzy,but when i heard those words i just sat straight : Oh!Valentine's ,right, happy Valentine's to you too ! i said,she laughed and hung up !
I texted sister n family,I can't remember the last time i had "someone" to Valentine (v.) with ,everyday is a Valentine's day for me with my family and friends,i love them absolutely and so they do .
And to you dear blog wayfarers happy Valentine's day too,go call your mom or something .

Going on second gear and to the left ,a not very happy Eid .

Eid, my annual boredom day of the year ,extra special episode.

I never really had this sense of Eid and all the relative visits and super excitement ,no much 1st degree relatives in Jordan and not that much of family friends,and your friends are always busy with their family visits and stuff,so the 1st Eid day is basically wearing a pjs for the whole day, boring TV,a sudden cut off from Ramadan series ,all in all Eid usually sucked .

But turned out it could be worse ,how ? you move some couple of thousands of miles away from home ,for one thing,you don't even have your siblings to share the usual boredom with,and you know that they're missing one too, also you're denied your right of bugging your friends about their family visits too ! so let me read your order again please sir, double cheesy shitty day and diet coke,would you like to super size it Sir ? - Yes please ! Sir you're crazy ! - No ,just listen .

Remember when you 1st took your father's car for a drive behind his back ? and after a while you needed to go on second gear ? your accomplice is nagging and reminding you of how important is it to coordinate the break,clutch and gear stick change all together ? That moment where the gear is actually changing and you could feel it to the 1st time,that tiny period of time where it felt like the car and the whole world stopped for a split of a second right in the middle of it,its like the world had gone into slow motion ,but your senses are on full alert your forehead is probably sweating and your chest is against the steering wheel and you're clinging to it for dear life and before you know it everything goes okay and you internally exhale like never before afterwards ? when you realized that the car isn't breaking down and you're not ruining your dad's car !!? See I've been stuck in that slow motion phase for a while now,so don't call me crazy,bitch !!! - whatever sir you're not crazy alright ! would you like anything else sir ? - Yes I do !

Remember after a while when you had to take the 1st left turn into a small alley and you couldn't really see well ? and your head suddenly turned into an unlimited math calculations trying to tick the turn light stick at the right distance and also turn the steering wheel at the right moment with the right pace and shit ?and then as you're going into it and the freakin world goes into slow motion again ?only you're scared to shit praying no car or child bump in front of you ,or having to go back to 1st gear ,and go through that agony again,and once more to go back on 2nd gear geez i could hear you swearing already chill chill ... yes it suck and yes its unpleasant,mind draining at times,but shut da hell up because you know once you're passed it its gonna be worth it ,no regrets, just get done with it already !... hey you still there ?? hello ? fuck!.

PS : I'm not sure if that made sense at all,and i don't really care this time.this is a smokes blow .
PPS : I don't drive,I don't have a license,and I don't know if what i described is anywhere near the truth ,i just thought It might feel that way .

oh and Happy Eid everyone ,have a good one enjoy it ! honestly .

The Internet Scammers won't scam me dammit !!!!! i wanna get scammed eh ! :/

I was *FINALLY* approached by one of those ! I was awfully happy, I played dumb so they'd go all the way with me, I wanted to experience 1st hand how do they operate ! but when i had too little too much fun with it ,the scammers knew i was bluffing :(

This is the 1st E-mail i received:

From : Lulwa Adams

reply-to : lulwa_adams2@yahoo.com

Subject : From: Mrs Lulwa Adams

Attn: Dear beloved,

I am the above named person from Kuwait.. I am married to Mr. Lobi Adams who worked with Ivory Coast embassy in Kuwait for nine years before we left to Abidjan where he was re-appointed as a navy officer before his untimely death in the year 2007. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died in his home country Ivory Coast after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.Before his death we were both born again Christian.Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $3.5Musd (Two Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars) in a trunk box deposited with one of the big security company here in Abidjan as a family valuable .Presently, this box is still with the security firm (teet teet teet teet ...Calling : Michael Scofield). Recently my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is the high blood preasure sickness .Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or an individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church or individual that will use this fund for orphanages,widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that"Blessed is the hand that giveth".

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going (What is The Bank?). I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace".I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives were around me always as I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the security firm here in Abidjan. I will also issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund. I want you to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.

Please always be prayerful all through your life. Contact me on the above e_mail address for more informations, Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein.Note that out of the labour of our hands we shall eat from it, so you have some part of this fund as the labour of your hands to the fulfilments of Gods word in our lives.Hoping to receive your reply as soon as possible. presently,I am still in my late husbands home country abidjan capital city of ivory coast.

Remain blessed in the Lord.

Yours in sister,

Mrs Lulwa Adams."

1st thought : i thought these people were smart ! Mrs Lelwa from Kuwait ? A Christian too, I mean there are roughly 200,000 Christian in Kuwait ! and all those typos too ??? - FireFox anybody? -

2nd thought : i thought these people have access to our private data somehow !why did they expect i was a Christian ? my name ? maybe if i was still in the middle east !But I'm located in Thailand ( I assumed they checked IP addresses at least) ,the reasonable assumption should be that I'm a Buddhist !!

Anyway, i tried to play along ,i replied with this :

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!
I'm really sorry to hear about you !!!
what can i do to help you ?????? OMG may the Lord help you in your illness !!
I'm utterly shocked ! Please ,I'd love to help one in need!"

The next day ,i received the following :

"from : Lulwa Adams
reply-to : lulwa_adams2@yahoo.com
subject Greetings My Dear.
Body :
Dearly beloved,
Greetings in the mighty name of God our savior.

I am very glad to receive your emphasise mail this afternoon concerning your zealous interest over the work of God(So Godly indeed!! ) and for this fund which i am entrusting in your hands for the propagation of the word of God.
Importantly, considering my detoriating and ailing health in which I am faced with life uncertainty, I will like you to contact Ms Charlotte Konan a saff nurse sister here in this hospital who has been very nice to me and I have all the informations about this deposit been handed over to her under the Lords direction and I will like you to contact and send to her, your full name together with your contact address in which will enable her, obtain a letter of authorisation that will be submitting to the security company, authorising them to change every relevant documents of this deposit to your name as the new beneficiary of the belonging. That will officially and legally approve you as the next of kin/beneficiary to this deposit in the security company from the Federal Ministry of Justice to declare whole heartedly that i have made you the beneficiary to my inheritance in the security company here-in Ivory Coast, so that even if i am no more you shall continue from there and request the security company to release or ship the belonging to you without any confrontation from any body.

do always remember me in your daily prayers for God's healing in my life, most especially, as I will be going through the surgery in respect of this cancer.

Thanks and God bless us all in his infinite goodness and mercy.

Remain blessed,

Mrs Lulwa Adams."

Interesting ha ? :D ,now here is where I got too excited about it ! I replied, with a name and imaginary address (but would make sense if they looked up a map of Bangkok) ,the problem is with the name I chose :/ I wrote :

"Hello,

May the lord save you my dear,
I'm really sorry to hear about you, this is heart breaking ,I'll do my best to make you feel as happy as you'd like to be in these days .but I need to understand what i need to do exactly ,
anyway here is my contact :
Mr Awlul Smada
Bangkok - Thailand
Sukumvite Soi 22 - Sweet'n'Sour mansion ,room 404"

I'm not sure that people that stupid did notice that my name is actually "her" name reversed ! or maybe Sweet n Sour residency is more Japanese than Thai :D wut do i know ,my journey ended here ! and i received the following :(

"from : Lulwa Adams
subject : Greetings My Dear.
body :
YOU ARE A MAD MAN MY DEAR AND PLS STOP JOKING WITH A WOMAN OF GOD AS I KNOW THAT U ARE FROM A WICKED MUSLIM COUNTRY PALISTENIAN.
PLS STOP CONTACTING ME AGAIN OKAY."

LMAO ,I replied them trying to seduice them to get back to me with a PS about Jesus being from Betlahem anyway but never got a response *sigh* ,my scam journey ended here unfortunately ! but how did they know where I was from anyway ? probably googled my name and/or email address and found my profile on some forum or something.”?”

The question that comes to mind : who falls for those ignorant ?? I'd assume someone as (or more) ignorant ! but I hear they're making good business out of this !

Using religion against people to tackle their feelings (or fears) is pretty powerful tool ,that only when you're ignorant enough about your religion to fall for it I believe . like those text messages that's been around in Jordan and other Arab countries ,or even phone calls ; where they tell you that there is a spell and magic on you and tell you some information about you ! and of course ,for some good chunk of your salary they can make it go away .LOL. problem is ,people not only sometimes fall for it, if they didn't ,they'd freak out, just because magic and spells were mentioned they'd freak the hell out and live in fear for couple of days .

"IGNORANCE" is Today's word !

PS : The Photograph (Professional Widow) courtesy of Meg . Thx Meg

Never Ending Rush Hour

I was reading Rawia's blog,and i found my self telling her "some day soon,you'll look at this time you were feeling this way as a shadow of another girl's dreams of trust me . "

I think that is how i felt after i accomplished a little of what i wanted,and it feels great,its just like when you wait long for a taxi cab in a hot summer day at rush hour,you wait and wait and you feel dizzy,you wait longer and start thinking should i walk a little bit further straight ahead i might catch a cab there,or should i move a bit backwards,and then you start feeling your feet hurt,you suddenly become aware of all your body parts,because they're sore and hurt now ,and then your forehead starts to sweat, you lean a little bit on your left leg and then you switch to the other leg and now whatever that you're holding in your hands starts to feel much heavier and you keep looking at your watch and minutes feel like hours and then you start noticing more things you didn't notice before,you start to think of how -unawarely- lucky these people in their cars with the windows rolled up and the AC playing with their hair,you then realize that while you were in a car you never gave a thought about those waiting on the side walk,now you might be a bit angry after an hour waiting and the side walk is now filled with many people lining up to catch a cab just like you, and then you think "how on Earth am I gonna catch one with all those people here!" and you're now more angry and more tired and you start to rant and your eyebrows crossed and you're nervous and comes someone ask you "what time is it" and you don't know why you feel like punching him in the face !!
Suddenly,a cab drops off someone right in front of you and you jump into the cab,once you're there,couple of meters away,ALL those feelings of tiredness,anger,envy,and feeling sorry for yourself and the other 50 people waiting for a cab goes away !your eyebrows are back to their normal shape and you enjoy the ride,by the time you get to your destination ,you totally forgot about the agony of how you got there,couple of days later,and this whole experience would seem to be so old and you won't relate to it as if it was shadows of another man's dream !
that's how life goes i believe,I now -happily- have a lot of shadows of another man's dreams in my head,they're almost gone with their problems and shitty situations .and it feels great.
so keep doing what you're doing until you reach there and feel good about it.its awesome.

Look Closer !

I'm a big believer of knowing WHAT do you want to achieve shouldn't necessarily be paired with knowing exactly HOW to do it .That surely doesn't mean throwing out all kind of dreams with no plan or no sense of how to achieve it what so ever,its just the little details that would take you there that you shouldn't care much about ,they'll come to you ,once you've done your part and home work they should come,and thats how you become a super man ,when you say i want to do something and do it, others will be surprised of HOW you did,and so you'll be yourself ! Many might argue that this is nonsense ,and how come it doesn't work for all ,well for a starter ,those who didn't make it probably didn't believe they're capable of making it in the 1st place ,those still have to work on their self esteem and confidence to conquer what seems "impossible" or "too much" or "too good to happen" ,and others who might have that faith in themselves might just miss the opportunity once it comes knocking their doors . how do you miss an opportunity? one might say ! well we miss a lot of opportunities everyday ,all kind of opportunities ,opportunities to see something beautiful and feel good about it .. when was the last time you carefully watched a bird flying , eating or drinking ?when was the last time you noticed a butterfly around ?

opportunities to make us feel loved and accepted the way we are and make us feel good about it .. when was the last time you told your mother that you love her ? straight forward for no reason ,"i love you mom" or to your dad or siblings ,when was the last time you told a friend how much you appreciate him/her ?
opportunities that make us grateful to whatever that is we have ,and make us feel good about it ..when was the last time you gave a good thought about orphans ,the poor ,the handicapped ,the children in war zones,the abused women ?
if we miss all those "little" stuff,are you still wondering how do we miss long-anticipated opportunities ?

just look closer at everything ,sometimes opportunities comes knocking at your door steps,literally ,and you turn away from them.
If you didn't give up and were consistent about WHAT do you want,it might come back to you ,and then you'll feel good about it.no regrets.
today one came back to me ! I'm so grateful .
I wish you a good "luck",if there is any "luck" in that game.

* Photograph by Abed Dodokh (Royal)

bull

I need more years, i figured.
Young and old are relative matters ,time is running either way ,what if life gave you from one side and took from the other one ?would you still be happy with what you got ?what if the taken is so precious ,an invaluable ,but what you were given is critical to have ,or was critical, to help what was taken big time.

You run. Like a bull, actually, you are a bull, in an endless bull fight side show, it’s only a matter of life and death for you, bull .others are only spectators, if you had any spectators anyway. The auditorium is not round though, The Coliseum is too romantic,wake up. there is no going back here, its one narrow way, all the way, till the very end .this time you don't chase the red flag ,I'd think of it sometimes as if the red flag was tied around your eyes, gray is all what you see, remember ,bulls are color blind, often by choice!

you are running full speed, using your senses and feelings to dodge the Matadors ahead ,that’s quite high bet you put on yourself you know !but if you are not willing to bet on yourself ,why should anyone else do ? No one fights your fights! That’s what we learn, the hard way.

I guess at the end, you shall be praying for a bit of good luck, a blessing indeed, so along the way, when you finally get what you've been running your life for, you have a glorious chance to give back - to whom will be taken - before fate plays it's game.

In a perfect world, I'd tell time to stay still where she is and unleash me where I am, I will survive my fight, and then, give her all I wish to give her before she is gone, in a perfect world!

She is not greedy though, they’re never greedy .They are where “giving” came from. Happy they want you to be, and that’s all what matters to them.
Bless all moms.

penguin on vacation.

i woke up today on a phone call brought me the worst news i want to hear these days.

the least you can describe my life so far is abnormal .People and friends always looked to me as some kind of super human for my age,given the circumstances and situation i had had put through and still,been under tremendous pressure for as long as i can remember ,literally ,and so,i was trained to be a super human ,what people see as a unique ability to deal with hard situation in an impressive way was often insignificant to me, just another day ,I'm like a well trained dog doing things dogs are not supposed to do,I'm a dog who plays the piano !or a penguin who can skate board! but,i never took the praise for real ,unless i needed a boost ,I'd read those messages saved in my cell phone or emails for a weak moment to read and recharge.

along the way, I've developed some bad habits when crisis occurred ,non-pleasant actions to be taken to release some anger so i could wear my super man costume again,among which, screaming my through out, punching the nearest wall, throwing objects and making sure they're broken to the last piece ,and smoking .

along the way as well, I've regretted those actions when they effected someone else ,when i caused my family worry and exposed myself as a weak to those who looked up to me,brother,sister,and mom. so i trained the dog and the penguin i am to lose those habits ,thinking of it now, i think i was most worried about myself not others,because now each of these habits is associated with a negative feeling and a horrible memory which i don't wish to recall.

so today ,it all hit me back at once ,i found myself throwing away the phone,screaming my through out,pushing the wardrobe, smashing the 1st thing i could reach (a calculator and a plate), and here i am,it took me 5 minutes to decide weather I'm lighting that cigarette or not,I'm putting down the 4th cigarette right now.and it feels like sh!t.

have you ever paid attention to "Scrubs" -the tv show- theme song "I'm no super man" ? whenever it said "no i can't do this all on my own ,no i know, I'm no superman " i always thought "hell yea,i am super man" .but for now,I'd like to step down and say no,i am no super man.i need a break.penguin on vacation.

50 JD

لا أعلم لماذا خطر لي الآن أن اسجل لحظة استلمت أول مرتب بدوام كامل ، قفز بي يومها إلى أعلى خط الفقر مؤقتا حسب تصنيف الحكومة الرشيدة السابقة .
الشعور بالنصر والإنجاز عندما دخلت "الدكانه " و-"بعزجت " واشتريت كل ما يلزم وما كان يلزم منذ فترة .وحنقي وغضبي يومها على العالم حين أدركت أن نصري المبجل ذاك كلفني ٢٧ دينار ونصف !!!! فقط ! هي ما لزمت لتأخذني إلى ما بعد خط الفقر وتشعرني بأن إنسانيتي اليوم تستوي مع سعيدي الحظ في هذا العالم وانني لست من المغضوب عليهم بعد الآن !وثم بعدها لأزفّ المروحة الجديدة إلى بيتنا على كتفي وألعب مع ظلّها على الأرض طوال الطريق "حرب"، هي الار بي جي ،وأنا جيفارا ! تلك اللعينة أيضا التي سمحت لي أن أتطاول وألعب باستهزاء بما كان حتى الصيف الماضي أمنية يجب تأجيلها حتى صيف آخر لم تكلف أكثر مما كلفت زيارة الدكان !
شعوري بالنصر المطلق والتفوق على عالم قذر لم يكلف أكثر من ٥٠ دينار حقيرة !!

و يسألونك ،،، لماذا أنت شيوعي